Since Sunday, my life has seemed a little “open-ended.”  My present relationship, physical with various people, spiritually and internally — have grown tremendously over the past week.  As I sit and reflect now, I am pleased to have such wonderful and supportive individuals around me who all play a vital role in my aging and learning process.

I don’t wish to get public with the events occuring this week, for the most part, however, it seems as though for the individuals who know — a graceful sense of peace and freedom has been achieved.  I wake up every mornings, striving for another day closer to my objective.  Although my objective is a little broad at the moment, I feel as though I am reaching in and really learning why I am who I am.

Yesterday evening, a great friend, Molly delivered a wonderful gift to me.  “The Screwtape Letters,” written by C.S. Lewis.  The book itself is simple and the message is clear!

There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human’s mind against the Enemy.  He wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking about what will happen to them.

The message above is delivered at the beginning of letter number six.  Screwtape delivered this message to Wormwood, speaking of his current patient.  The enemy of course being God, men being us and the term our business is referencing the ideal mission of demons and evil spirits to distract us from our true purpose in life.

That excerpt really hits home for me.  I constantly get distracted by the feelings expressed to me from various sources.  I anxiously await decisions, I assume the worst and I constantly become overwelmed by questions I have about my life, my future and my past.  I’m slowly accepting the fact that the events that occur in my life are part of a project, a mere timeline to get me to where I am supposed to be.

Giving up control is not something I am very warm to.  I am realizing that, though I can control what I do, make decisions, what to write and the like; ultimately I am not in control of my life.  Respecting the fact that someone greater is in control is both calming and awkward.

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own. — Matthew 6:34

How is that for a life lesson..